Tag Archives: anxiety

Crying.

I look in the mirror a lot. It’s kind of like I am having a conversation with myself when I do it. Not just seeing what I look like. Rather, I am looking into my eyes and asking “How are you doing? What is bothering you? What are you happy about?” I used to do this as a kid all of the time. I didn’t go cry to people when I was upset. I would lock myself in the bathroom, turn the fan on, and I would watch my eyes turn bloodshot and bright blue as the warm tears ran down my face. I always thought I was pretty when I cried. Crying was very relieving for me, it was detoxifying, and letting go. It wasn’t anxiety or feeling stuck. That didn’t happen until I was in college. I locked myself in the bathroom and I cried. And when I finished I still felt stuck, overwhelmed, and so I kept crying. I kept crying until I couldn’t breathe, and I had a headache. Then I had to make myself stop crying because nothing was getting better. The more my thoughts built up, the more these crying episodes would break through, but they wouldn’t resolve anything. I stopped liking crying as much. It wasn’t “me time”, it wasn’t reflective – it was spinning in cirlces and feeling trapped and weak.
I’ve been crying a lot more recently. Much similar to my college days. Crying, and rather than feel myself shed off pounds of frustration or confusion, I feel the heavy tears fall onto my lap and they are stuck on me. My eyes stay very wet, swollen, and heavy. My mind isn’t letting go of thoughts. It’s like the crying is just happening without value, empty.
The problem is bigger than a mere rinse off. It urges me to shift directions and change.
I’ll cry in a couple of months when I realize that I made it through the muck, and my tears will sing and laugh.
Those are my favorite tears, the one’s that celebrate. The ones that used to hurt, but now have grown brighter. As you cry these tears, you reflect on the pain and the transition and you know you are strong, you are loved, you are human.
Don’t give up on yourself, your dreams, or the people around you.
When you feel alone in the bathroom with nobody around you, know that there is a door to open and someone is waiting. When you feel like escaping away from it all, know that peace can be found. Your life is still growing, and that is something to celebrate. That is something to cry about.

December: Being Merry!

December is here, so on the northern hemisphere of the world, we are experiencing the COLD! (Even in Florida it’s getting cooler!) The body starts to require a little bit of extra care and so does the mind, as the words “fatigue” and “chaos” ring in many of our ears. There is A LOT going on, and we have two options: we can experience the moments, or we can try to survive them with jaw clenched and checklist in hand.

It is easy to get caught up in taking care of everyone else’s demands of holiday parties, getting gifts, preparing for family/travel, and the usual care we give throughout our day. We find the mind spinning, whirling, and obsessing with quesions of: Will this gift make them happy, or be good enough? Which relative will bring up the fact that I’m not married, or criticize my, or my partner’s, career choice? When will I have time to clean the house for the guests? Do I have enough money to buy these gifts? I want to eat healthy, but…

Listen, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! We all have a family with sparkling gems and rough patches. We all hear the expectation to give gifts at the holidays. There is a lot going on between still working and everyday responsibilities plus preparing for company or travel, a lot of social gatherings that take more time from our regular schedule, and ALL of this takes away from the foundation, the key factor to success and happiness, and the essential in living a balanced life style – SELF-CARE!

This is the best time to express yourself as exactly the person that you are!

So here is your Holiday Self-Care survival kit!

  1. Breathe – Inhale. Hold. Exhale. Hold
    Every day, take the time to breathe. 5 minutes to sit in stillness, without your phone, without music (unless you really need some instrumental music), with nothing but yourself. Set a times on your phone for 5-15 minutes, close your eyes, and breathe. Accepting whatever happens, letting the thoughts pass, instead of trying to solve problems in that moment. Just sit and focus on breathing. Inhaling and sitting tall. Exhaling and letting go. There is not accomplishment, or “you know you’re doing it right when…”, it is simply being still.

This is so important for this month because winter already gives extra stress on the body – lower intake of Vitamin D, and more energy expelled for body heat. So, resting is a crucial practice to maintain energy levels.

2. Accept – “Everything is perfect, as it is”
First off, what is acceptance? It is surrendering to the idea that you don’t have to be in control. You don’t have to have the last word.
Now, this doesn’t mean that you have to be silent (and, we’ll get to the in a sec).
Make the choice to surrender control of others as well as yourself. What do I mean? Stop saying “I have to…” Recognize the various tasks and ideas you have in your mind, and write them down if you need. But instead of saying, “I have to clean the house, I have to call the dog groomer, I have to find time to workout so I can eat that pie…” All of these expectations are clogging your brain from its power. YOU ARE POWERFUL, YOU ARE ORGANIZED, YOU ARE HAPPY. So don’t let the little tasks hide the light that is inside of you. Instead prioritize. Prioritize being your self, and not sacrificing your joy and your Light for the small things that will be gone in small moments of time.

The mindset you contribute to the situation will play  a role in the outcome! If you bring a positive, joyful, loving spirit to your activities, this will drastically effect the quality, memories, and interactions you have. Holiday shopping, the food that you eat, the family you catch up with, the coworkers and neighbors at holiday parties, the partner that you come home to – will all be much more enjoyed when you choose to bring joy rather than criticism, judgment, and expectation.

3. Be Yourself – “The person I am is great”
Let’s make a promise…the only person wearing a costume this year is Santa Claus! You don’t need to be richer, more like-minded to your family, funnier, more social, more religious, or less disciplined in your food choices. You need to be you.
This is so important, because you will have more patience, more energy, and more happiness when you stop trying to wear all of the hats. Focus on what your ideas, and what’s inside of you. And bring that to the table. Do your best in what you have to offer, and know that everything else will happen at its will.
You don’t have to say “Yes” to stuffing when you aren’t eating gluten – there are plenty of other delicious meals on the table that you can compliment the chef on!
You don’t have to break your budget to get everyone a gift, or get that right gift for the special person – instead really think about what you can give (it doesn’t have to be a material, it just needs to be you) and offer that from a place of love.
You don’t have to smile and nod, or hold your tongue about your passions “don’t agree” with distant family members in your life. Instead choose your actions from a place of accepting and loving the diversity of yourself and others. (Nobody ever learned from always agreeing)

Make the choice to be You. Say this outloud:
“I accept myself because I am happy and filled with joy by my life. And I choose to keep my happiness and joy in every situation of my day. If that means that one of my tasks doesn’t get completed, or I don’t find the exact gift that I had in mind…that is okay. Because most importantly, I am giving love and joy to myself, so that I can also share this with everyone in my life.”

What you need this holiday season is no different than what you need every day. You need to hydrate, sleep, and bring love and joy to everything you do.

Remember, you are not alone. And when you choose to practice self-care of breathing, accepting, and being yourself, you will enjoy and connect with the moments of your day and people that come through your life. When you give this care to yourself, you can begin to give care to others.

Take time this holiday season to recognize YOU, instead of being weighed down by the hustle and bustle of everyone else’s agenda.

Blessings and Joy to you and & your family. Thank you for your support and following!

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