December: Being Merry!

December is here, so on the northern hemisphere of the world, we are experiencing the COLD! (Even in Florida it’s getting cooler!) The body starts to require a little bit of extra care and so does the mind, as the words “fatigue” and “chaos” ring in many of our ears. There is A LOT going on, and we have two options: we can experience the moments, or we can try to survive them with jaw clenched and checklist in hand.

It is easy to get caught up in taking care of everyone else’s demands of holiday parties, getting gifts, preparing for family/travel, and the usual care we give throughout our day. We find the mind spinning, whirling, and obsessing with quesions of: Will this gift make them happy, or be good enough? Which relative will bring up the fact that I’m not married, or criticize my, or my partner’s, career choice? When will I have time to clean the house for the guests? Do I have enough money to buy these gifts? I want to eat healthy, but…

Listen, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! We all have a family with sparkling gems and rough patches. We all hear the expectation to give gifts at the holidays. There is a lot going on between still working and everyday responsibilities plus preparing for company or travel, a lot of social gatherings that take more time from our regular schedule, and ALL of this takes away from the foundation, the key factor to success and happiness, and the essential in living a balanced life style – SELF-CARE!

This is the best time to express yourself as exactly the person that you are!

So here is your Holiday Self-Care survival kit!

1. Breathe – Inhale. Hold. Exhale. Hold
   Every day, take the time to breathe. 5 minutes to sit in stillness, without your phone, without music (unless you really need some instrumental music), with nothing but yourself. Set a times on your phone for 5-15 minutes, close your eyes, and breathe. Accepting whatever happens, letting the thoughts pass, instead of trying to solve problems in that moment. Just sit and focus on breathing. Inhaling and sitting tall. Exhaling and letting go. There is not accomplishment, or “you know you’re doing it right when…”, it is simply being still.

This is so important for this month because winter already gives extra stress on the body – lower intake of Vitamin D, and more energy expelled for body heat. So, resting is a crucial practice to maintain energy levels.

2. Accept – “Everything is perfect, as it is”
First off, what is acceptance? It is surrendering to the idea that you don’t have to be in control. You don’t have to have the last word.
Now, this doesn’t mean that you have to be silent (and, we’ll get to the in a sec).
Make the choice to surrender control of others as well as yourself. What do I mean? Stop saying “I have to…” Recognize the various tasks and ideas you have in your mind, and write them down if you need. But instead of saying, “I have to clean the house, I have to call the dog groomer, I have to find time to workout so I can eat that pie…” All of these expectations are clogging your brain from its power. YOU ARE POWERFUL, YOU ARE ORGANIZED, YOU ARE HAPPY. So don’t let the little tasks hide the light that is inside of you. Instead prioritize. Prioritize being your self, and not sacrificing your joy and your Light for the small things that will be gone in small moments of time.

The mindset you contribute to the situation will play  a role in the outcome! If you bring a positive, joyful, loving spirit to your activities, this will drastically effect the quality, memories, and interactions you have. Holiday shopping, the food that you eat, the family you catch up with, the coworkers and neighbors at holiday parties, the partner that you come home to – will all be much more enjoyed when you choose to bring joy rather than criticism, judgment, and expectation.

3. Be Yourself – “The person I am is great”
Let’s make a promise…the only person wearing a costume this year is Santa Claus! You don’t need to be richer, more like-minded to your family, funnier, more social, more religious, or less disciplined in your food choices. You need to be you.
This is so important, because you will have more patience, more energy, and more happiness when you stop trying to wear all of the hats. Focus on what your ideas, and what’s inside of you. And bring that to the table. Do your best in what you have to offer, and know that everything else will happen at its will.
You don’t have to say “Yes” to stuffing when you aren’t eating gluten – there are plenty of other delicious meals on the table that you can compliment the chef on!
You don’t have to break your budget to get everyone a gift, or get that right gift for the special person – instead really think about what you can give (it doesn’t have to be a material, it just needs to be you) and offer that from a place of love.
You don’t have to smile and nod, or hold your tongue about your passions “don’t agree” with distant family members in your life. Instead choose your actions from a place of accepting and loving the diversity of yourself and others. (Nobody ever learned from always agreeing)

Make the choice to be You. Say this outloud:
“I accept myself because I am happy and filled with joy by my life. And I choose to keep my happiness and joy in every situation of my day. If that means that one of my tasks doesn’t get completed, or I don’t find the exact gift that I had in mind…that is okay. Because most importantly, I am giving love and joy to myself, so that I can also share this with everyone in my life.”

What you need this holiday season is no different than what you need every day. You need to hydrate, sleep, and bring love and joy to everything you do.

Remember, you are not alone. And when you choose to practice self-care of breathing, accepting, and being yourself, you will enjoy and connect with the moments of your day and people that come through your life. When you give this care to yourself, you can begin to give care to others.

Take time this holiday season to recognize YOU, instead of being weighed down by the hustle and bustle of everyone else’s agenda.

Blessings and Joy to you and & your family. Thank you for your support and following!

If you are new to Jenn Journey’s, there are two posts a month, one that highlight the mind-body, and a second that highlights easy, healthy recipes. Be sure to subscribe to stay in the loop!

The Right Decision

Let’s picture the journey of life as a road with roundabouts in it – traffic circles that have opportunity to get out, but also have the option to stay in the circle.

Earlier this week, I discussed that fear can sometimes hold us back from moving forward. Life never completely stops, so it is in these moments of fear that we get stuck in our roundabout. Moving in a circle while others cross our path and proceed forward. We can often get stuck in this roundabout, and refuse to move forward because of the fear of possible obstacles on the upcoming road. What if I get hurt, or don’t make enough money, or get lonely – all become the flat tires and misread maps on your journey. But once you accept that all of these obstacles are capable of being overcome, you are faced with choosing which exit of the roundabout will you take? This decision seems so finite. What if you take the exit and end up unhappy, unfulfilled, heartbroken, humiliated – you picture these upsets as dead ends. But that thought is a complete illusion. Guess what, life goes on.

Life goes on, because you create your path. If you don’t like the road your on, turn down a different one, find an alternative route, choose a different destination. When you trust yourself and love yourself, you become in control of your life and you are capable of anything you want. Success and happiness is grounded in honesty and love.

We – maybe it’s our culture, maybe it’s most of humanity – are so scared of making the wrong decision that we just don’t make a decision at all. This leaves us following the crowd, doing things that please others’ agendas, and settling for less than we are capable of.
When you are pursuing your happiness, you can not make a wrong decision. You may make a decision that could have been done differently, but you aren’t going to ruin anything or destroy your life – you’ll just end up on a scenic route. So stop being scared of messing up, and let yourself move forward – take the next step.

When I graduated college, I was on the path of some one else’s dream. I pursued a life with a predictable outcome because that’s what people do – when you graduate college, you move to a new job, meet a partner who might end up being your spouse, you settle your roots, and you “start you life” as an adult. Well, the more I tried to journey down that road, the more I felt anxiety, disappointment, and unfulfilled. I met neat people, and was pleasing my family, but I was never satisfied. Anytime I tried to imagine my ideal life, the voice in the back of my head would laugh at the silliness of doing something different – the little voice would remind me that, “Everyone lives this way, and it works. So if I do something else, it won’t work because it isn’t normal, and I will probably fail.” Well, I’m just going to call bullshit – that voice was only my the illusion of doubt and fear. Finally, I let go of my reality, so I could pursue my dreams, and I have never felt happier, stronger, or more successful.

Life does not have to have a finish line – and when I say that, I mean that you don’t have to know what “success” look like. Life can be a journey that you constantly grow, and success is achieved through your growth. Maybe that looks like a big adventure like moving or a new career, and maybe moving forward on your life journey means bettering your health or connecting with new friends or reconnecting with family. In any situation, we all have dreams in our life that we aren’t pursuing because we are scared of failing, so we stay in the roundabout of being stagnant. It’s time to embrace your dreams, let go of the fear, and enjoy your journey.

I send you love and encouragement,

 

P.S. This week I got to see my great friend, J Robb perform. He is a passionate musician, and this was the last time I’ll get to hear his music before I leave. I also got to eat breakfast with my loving friend Danielle and her baby-pup Jolene. I am so fortunate to have such compassionate, and encouraging people in my life. Thank you to all of my friends that are supporting me!